Bubble Tea

So yeah. I personally don't get what all the fuss is about, but it seems a couple of idiots wanted me to post the recipe for bubble tea. UGH. What a pansy drink. Tea. Needs more rum. Anyway.

Stuff you need:
- 1 tbsp tapioca pearls
- hot water
- tea
- colourant if you want your bubble tea to look all fancy schmancy

How to do it:
1. You'll need lots of water for this. Put it in a pot, okay? They say you need 7 times as much water as you've got pearls. My advise: use much more. Water's gonna turn out like fucking pudding.
2. Put the pearls in the water, but don't pour them all in one spot.
3. Stir like a motherfucker. Those pearls tend to stick together like glue once you throw 'em in the water. In fact, why don't you start stirring at step 2?

4. Cook. Let it sit for about 25-30 minutes. Amuse yourself with stirring occassionally. If it starts to look gross and stink like burnt sugar, you're doing it right.
5. Drain the pearls. They'll look like fucking huge fish eggs by now, yuck. Soft on the outside. Chewy on the inside.
6. Make tea.
7. Put the pearls and the tea together, add ice cubes and tadaa. You have your disgusting drink.

Bubble tea, bitches.

If you're feeling experimental, how about adding milk and colourants to make it pink, or green, or blue? Heh heh. That'll teach those pesky neighbours not to come over for tea anymore.

Personally, I like cognac in my tea, none of that sissy bubbly pearl stuff. So next up, screw the requests. I'm gonna put down something I like: Hot Tea Grog. Fuck yeah.