Honey facial mask

"Oh Merry, you don't need one of those. You look fabulous!"

Yeah. Stuff it, idiot. We all know I ain't ever gonna win a beauty pageant and you know what? I don't friggin care. This isn't about being pretty or looking good. I'm talking about proper care for the skin here. The skin is the body's largest organ (yeah, sorry to break it to ya, guys). Now we all know Merry likes her booze and stays up late and sleeps in late and looks hella crappy after a bottle or three. So here's a home-made recipe for a nice and relaxing facial. Really easy too, for all you dumb sods out there. Heck, I'm sure you even have all the ingredients right in a kitchen cupboard. If you don't... well, that's kinda pathetic.

Honey: get it in a pot, not straight from the hive. I won't be
covering bee stings for awhile to come!

Anyway, this mask involves honey. Honey's pretty wicked when it comes to skin care. It kills germs and reduces swelling and inflammation. But if you're allergic to sticky, sweet things (like I am most of the time), don't put this on your face. You'll get a rash instead of smooth skin. Don't say I didn't warn ya!

Stuff you need:
- 1 tbsp of honey
- 1 tsp of olive oil
- 1 egg yoke

How to do it:
1. Place 1 tbsp of honey into a small bowl. Or glass. Or whatever.
2. Add 1 tsp of olive oil to the honey. Hard, huh?
3. Break an egg. Gently! Don't mix the yoke and the white. You'll only need the yoke. It'll remove that creepy, greasy shine from your face. Add it to the other stuff.
4. Mix the ingredients until creamy. And by creamy I mean a little lumpy. Whatever. Just mix it good, using a fork. 
5. Wash your dirty face with warm water. It'll open your pores and shite.
6.  Put on the mask. You'll look like a sunny-side up egg. Heh, please excuse me while I laugh at that mental image.
7. Don't drip on your clothes. The mask is pretty sticky. And very runny. Just go lay down and go take a nap or something.
8. Leave for 20 minutes. Like I said, go take a nap.
9. Repeat step 5. Wash your dirty face thoroughly. You don't want your hair sticking to your face because you didn't clean off the sticky muck well enough. Also, dust and dirt may cling to the sticky parts and clog up your pores, which kinda negates the whole point of the mask.
10. Splash your mug with cold water. Why? Because it'll give me a laugh, that's why. Oh, and to close your pores. No need to leave stuff open unattended.

So there you have it. Have fun messing around.